The Colonists Review
Updated: Jan 31, 2019
The Colonists is your typical resource management game, there’s building, research, mining, gathering, and defending. But The Colonists has one major twist, instead of people, the colonists are adorable little robots.
These robots have taken off in a ship from their home world looking to find a new planet where they can live on their own just like we humans do. It’s your job to help them through this journey and work with them to create a thriving colony.
As the game starts you are given a list of scenarios, now the first 2 are more like tutorial levels to get you on your way, but make no mistake they are not as easy as they seem; I just barely made gold on that second scenario. As the ship lands and your adorable robotic friends start to unload, you are given your mission and (if you are on the first scenario) are taught how to get things going, complete it fast enough and you can earn yourself a gold medal, or a silver or bronze, but we don’t talk about those underachievers.
You have to do all the same things you would do for any other resource management game with some cute and subtle adjustments for our robot friends. Like instead of them consuming the food and water it gets turned into energy capsules, and instead of people being gofers taking things to and fro, there are carrybots stationed between road posts creating the cutest assembly line you’ve ever seen.
I know I keep mentioning how cute they are but I mean look at them!
And don’t even get me started on the music. Y’all know how I enjoy a good game soundtrack. And what is it about the sounds in resource management games being so cute and satisfying? Is that just me? Except the constant notifications about running low on stone, that I could do without.
One of my favorite parts of the game happens in scenario three. They have boats y’all!
You can build a harbor and a boatyard to send your robotic friends on the open sea to look for other land forms and different resources. I did particularly enjoy seeing something other than the lush green grass of the first scenarios; with each area being as beautifully flushed out as the last, y’all know how I love my snow.
Now this is also where I experienced my first glitch in the game. My boats got more confused than my toddler picking his Halloween costume and were just like NO. It took me about 10 mins and some wasted resources before I just scrapped the boats and built new ones, and then took my time setting up routes. After that it was smooth sailing. For the boats at least, one of my harbors also glitched out and only one carrybot was doing the lifting while the other two were stuck standing off to the side like two bougie heifas afraid to mess up their manicures. Those seemed to be the only problems I had though. And remember this is a review copy of the early access game so these bugs could have been worked out by now.
Now down to the bane of my existence, or at least those of my pretty little robots, the combat. Now it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with it. It was just that I was bad at it. Lol. I tried a few times to kick some robot behind and just kept coming up short. Not that I didn’t get in a few good shots first. Lawd them enemy bots were building and shooting so fast I was like a gerbil that lost its footing in the exercise wheel, just spinning in circles while going nowhere and coming out dizzy in the end. There were fires and arrows and more fires. And this game was even cruel enough to ask if I wanted to watch the demise of my colonists after our ship had been destroyed, I declined the invitation. I’m sure that in time I will get the hang of it and burn them all and reclaim what is mine, but for now I’m still salty that my repair bots stopped working on the towers, another glitch I suspect.
All in all, y’all this is a really great game. It ticks all the necessary boxes for being a great resource management game, all the right mechanics are there, the soundtrack is pleasant, and the graphics are charming. Even with a review copy and the game still being in early access I give it a 4 out of 5. With the downside being the few glitches I ran into, the fact that there is no sandbox mode (hopefully that will change), and the price seems a little high for its current state. But even still, I can’t wait to see this game develop further and see what other features are added.
A Note from The Queen:
Since I have written this article, several changes have been made to this game, including but not limited to the boat glitch being fixed (at least I haven't had that issue again) and a sandbox mode being added.